I believed it was a plumbing issue when my mother-in-law came in unexpectedly. It turns out she had another idea. She used stronger techniques than I anticipated.

After a long, exhausting day, I wanted peace and quiet at home. But as I opened the door, I sensed trouble. The house was full with boxes. My heart jumped.

I cautiously crossed a mound of shoes to dump my luggage at the door and follow the chaos down the hall. I saw her then. Faye, my mother-in-law, unpacked in the guest room like nothing.

Clothing was thrown on the bed. Jasmine-scented perfume permeated the air, and her nightstand had dog images.

“Faye?” Trying to keep cool, my voice was strained. “What’s up?”

She waved and said, “Oh, didn’t Luke tell you? My home had a little issue. Pipes burst, flooding everything. I’ll remain till it’s fixed.”

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I blinked. Flooding? That made no sense. In her freshly renovated home, everything was top-notch. I hadn’t heard of difficulties till recently.

Before I could comprehend it, Luke was behind me. He avoided my gaze, seeming guilty. “Yes, about that.” Rubbing his neck, he shifted clumsily. “Faye will stay with us. While she organizes her home.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” Sharply staring, I asked.

No big deal, he shrugged. “It’s temporary, babe. You get along with Faye?

Get along? If by “get along,” he meant her backhanded remarks about how we’d been married six years and hadn’t had grandchildren, then yes. We were friends. I faked a grin, like you do when you’re losing it. Of course. Totally understand.”

I got up for water hours later after pretending everything was great. I heard murmuring as I passed the kitchen.

“Did you not tell her the real reason?” Faye’s loud voice broke the silence.

Luke sighed. “No, Mom. I didn’t.”

“Well,” Faye grumbled, “I’m here to maintain order. After a lengthy marriage without children, someone must discover out why. No worries—I’ll handle it.”

My stomach twisted. Not about pipes. Snooping was her purpose. To pressure me about kids. For my “fix”. Blood boiling, I stood paralyzed in the corridor. What had I entered?

I had a plan the following morning. If Faye wanted to play, I would. I wouldn’t argue with her. I would drown her in compassion. First portion of my “operation.” began at 8 a.m.

I emptied our master bedroom. Every garment, picture frame, and memory of Luke and me was in the little guest room. I even pulled Faye’s favorite daisy-patterned duvet from the linen closet and put it on the bed like a hotel.

After finishing, I checked my work in the doorway. Her bed cover was lovely, her dog photographs were on the dresser, and I included a “Welcome to Your New Home” basket. Bath salts, jasmine candles, luxury chocolates.

Luke arrived home from work and I was in the tight guest room shoving our clothing into whatever available area. Confusion covered his forehead as he entered. “Why are you here?” Peered around the corner. “Where’s our stuff?”

“Oh, I moved everything,” I responded, smiling my best. You believe your mom deserves the master bedroom? Only fair. She needs space more than us.”

Shocked, his eyes widened. “You gave her our bedroom?”

“Of course,” I grinned. Her family, after all. We’ll be fine here.”

Luke studied my actions, mouth half-open. But what could he say? His mother was Faye, so I wasn’t doing anything illegal. He groaned and left silently.

Over the following four days, I treated Faye like a queen. Fresh towels in the morning, bedside snacks, and her favorite jasmine candles.

She walked around the home like she owned it, beaming at me like she won. Faye was living lavishly, but Luke was losing it. Sharing the guest room drove him crazy. The confined quarters and his mom’s new fixation with parenthood preparation.

She always gave him a vitamin regimen in the morning.

“You need to take these, Luke,” she’d thrust a multivitamin at him. Preparing your body for healthy babies is crucial.

Luke would roll his eyes yet take the medications to silence her.

It continued. “Should you really be watching TV at night?” she said over supper. “That’s not baby-friendly. You should read parenting books. Or exercising. No more video games! Luke, grow up. I take fatherhood seriously.”

Luke was sitting on the bed edge gazing at a pile of parenting books his mom purchased online on day four.

“I think I’m losing my mind,” he mumbled, holding up “What To Expect When You’re Expecting.” “She expects me to read this.”

No doubt, I smiled. I laughed silently, “Well, Luke, you did say we’d be just fine, didn’t you?”

Continuous. Faye increased it. She gave Luke a written “fertility-boosting” meal list one night. No more burgers or pizza—spinach, quinoa, grilled fish. Smiled warmly, like she was helping him a lot.

“Your future kids will thank you,” she laughed.

Luke gazed at the list like a jail sentence. Wait, no pizza? Ever?”

“That’s right, dear,” she patted his shoulder. “I scheduled your meals for the week. Clean diet will improve your mood.”

We ate dry fish and insipid spinach for supper that night. Faye studied Luke’s plate and face like a hawk. The squirming man poked his meal.

“Luke,” she said, “did you take your vitamins this morning?”

Sighing, he forked the spinach. “Yes, Mom. I got them.”

What about the gym? You have time for that? You gained some weight. Fitness is key to being a good dad.”

I couldn’t resist. I kicked him under the table to stop laughing. The expression on his face was a mix of anger and despair. He was eventually affected after days of this.

After Faye went to bed, Luke rubbed his temples and looked at me. His voice was low and pleading. I can’t do this anymore, Kiera. The guest room, vitamins, and baby talk… Going insane.”

Biting my lip, I tried not to grin. “You have to admit,” I remarked, laughing, “it’s kind of funny.”

Eyes narrowed. “Not funny.”

Just a little chuckle. “Okay, it’s funny.”

Luke collapsed on the bed, grumbling. I booked her a room at the nearby hotel. Another day of this is too much.”

The following morning, he announced it during breakfast.

I rented you a wonderful motel nearby till your home renovations are done, mom. You’ll feel better there.”

She blinked, surprised. “But I’m fine here! Shouldn’t you two be serious about giving me grandchildren?

Luke clenched Jaw. We’ll decide when we’re ready, mom. For now, the hotel is ideal for all.”

Faye gazed at him. She grudgingly nodded, recognizing she had no defense. “If you insist.”

The day ended with her departure. The home was ours again.

Luke sighed in relief as the door closed behind her and plunged into the sofa. “Finally.”

Sitting next to him, I smiled. What about spinach for dinner?

Groaned. “Never again.”