My world didn’t simply shift on the night that our parents d.i.e.d; it completely shattered.
Within the span of a few hours, my brothers and I suffered a greater loss than the family members and friends who had loved us the most. The house that had been the source of our joy, the cozy coffee shop that smelled of cinnamon and coffee each morning, and the feeling that the world was a secure place were all taken away from us.
I was five years old at the time.
At one point in time, I was sitting at the counter of our café, swinging my legs and drinking hot chocolate. At the same time, my mother was humming to herself behind the register, and my father was making fun of her for exceeding the recommended amount of whipped cream. The next moment, I found myself in an unfamiliar room, seeing at new people, and hearing voices that informed me that my parents had “gone.”
That was something that I was unable to comprehend.
Even though she was only seven years old, my sister Marissa seemed to be perplexed as she clung to my hand with such a firm grip that her knuckles became white. My brother Caleb, who was nine years old but seemed to be much older than he really was, stood rigidly and silently, his face seeming pale. On the day when the law enforcement officer crouched down to communicate with us, his tone was soft, but the words he said were incomprehensible.
After that, we found ourselves at the orphanage.
Over and over again, I inquired, “When are Mom and Dad going to return?” Each of the caregivers would go down on their knees, stroke my shoulder, and then change the conversation. My first experience with mourning taught me that the absence itself is not the only thing that causes pain; the quiet that follows it is just as painful.
The café was gone after a few weeks’ time. We were able to sell our home, which was a cozy, lived-in home with a front step that creaked and a kitchen that was brightly illuminated. Strangers took away the belongings of our parents in order to satisfy debts that we were unaware they had.
Caleb spoke to us in a low voice in the darkness of the night, after all of the other children who were staying at the orphanage had gone to sleep.
It was nearly impossible for me to hear him since his voice was so soft. “We are all we have now,” he continued. “All you need to do is trust me. I solemnly swear.”
And he did it in some way.
When there was a shortage of food, he provided us with larger servings. His little stipend was spent on apples and candies for Marissa and me, and he never kept any for himself. He never kept any for himself. Caleb intervened into the situation as bigger lads attempted to bully me. During the night, while Marissa was crying, he would sit beside her bed until she went to sleep.
Afterwards, on a particular evening, after a day in which everything seemed to be going wrong, Caleb invited us to sit next to him. His blue eyes, which were the eyes of our father, were burned with a fiery resolve.
As he spoke, he said, “Mom and Dad had a dream.” They desired for that café to be an item of exceptional quality. I am aware that we are still children, but I am certain that we will be able to regain it one day.
Not knowing how to do it. I was unsure about the time.
Still, I had faith in him.
After some time had passed, the day arrived when Marissa was taken away from her family. Foster parents had decided to take her in. Refusing to let go of her sweater, I remember clutching to it with all my might.
“You are unable to leave,” I said.
Even though her eyes were red, she made an effort to smile. “Don’t worry about it. I will pay you a visit. On a weekly basis. This is going to be a delicious treat for you.
I was not interested in sweets at all. Having her there was all I wanted.
Caleb was standing next to me with his fists clenched and his jaw tightened. He did not shed any tears. Never once did I see him weep. Nevertheless, I saw that his shoulders fell for a brief instant when Marissa moved her attention away from him.
That night, the bed that she had slept on had a chilly sensation.
Her promise, on the other hand, was honored. She came back almost every week, sometimes with sweets or little gifts, but always with tales of her new life. She was constantly telling them about her new existence.
There was a time when she informed us, “It’s not bad,” while offering me a plush bear. It’s a better place to eat than this one.
Nobody from Caleb responded. He did not have faith in the system.
After one year, it was finally my time. My little possessions, which included some faded clothing and the cuddly bear that Marissa had given me, were packed, and I stood there starring at Caleb.
It was me who stated, “I do not want to go.”
In order to ensure that our eyes were level, he stooped down. Strongly, he said, “You are not going to abandon us.” “We committed to doing so. At all times, regardless of where we are, we remain together.
All of the members of my foster family were kind, and they lived in close proximity to me, so I was able to continue to visit my siblings. The absence of Caleb, however, never seemed to be quite right.
Following that, still another year went by. He was the very last person to leave.
There was a delay in placing him, mostly due to the fact that we had made it very plain to each and every social worker that we would only see families that lived in close proximity to others. We wouldn’t do a deal with them if they couldn’t guarantee that.
They listened to it in some way.
In spite of the fact that we were separated into three separate households, we continued to see one other often. We made sure that the world could not tear us apart by spending time together after school, in the park, and in living rooms that we borrowed.
In the evening, when Caleb was resting on a park seat that had seen better days, he looked out at the setting sun and exclaimed, “We’re getting it back.”
It was Marissa’s frown. “What are you getting back?”
“Our coffee shop.”
After that, every decision he made was centered on achieving that objective.
Upon reaching the age of sixteen, Caleb secured his first job, which was working at a grocery store, stacking shelves. Additionally, he worked late shifts at a gas station, and he would sometimes get home so exhausted that he would turn in for the night before he could even eat supper.
We would taunt him, and he would respond by saying, “It’s just the beginning.” In the future, we will have something that is uniquely ours.
Marissa joined him when she was seventeen years old and began working as a server at a small cafe. When she returned home, her feet were hurting, and she smelled like coffee and fried food, but she seldom complained about her condition.
Considering that I was too young to be working, I sat back and waited, holding the promise inside my chest like a smoldering flame.
Rather of dispersing themselves once we all reached the age of eighteen and were no longer eligible for the system, we decided to combine the few funds we had and rent a tiny apartment with just one bedroom. Having the three of us together once again was like taking a deep breath of fresh air after spending years in a room without windows.
It was imperative that Caleb take the sofa in order for Marissa and I to be able to share the bedroom.
Taking a glance around our cramped living quarters with a grin on her face, Marissa said, “We finally live together again.” “It’s almost like being a part of it.”
Constantly, we were working. In addition to Marissa working multiple shifts, Caleb had two jobs, and I joined them when I was old enough to support myself. Not a single dime was wasted. No new clothing unless it is absolutely required to do so. There will be no takeaway. There will be no vacations.
In the middle of the night, when we were seated at the kitchen table with a stack of cash and coins in between us, Caleb smiled and stretched his back.
He said, “We’re getting closer.”
Marissa arched her brow in surprise. Are you close to what?
Even there was no need for him to respond. We were both aware of it.
On the day that we filled out the paperwork for the café, I am certain that I sensed our parents there beside us.
While he was standing behind the counter, Caleb ran his fingertips over the weathered wood. When Marissa grabbed my hand, she did it with such force that I could feel her pulse.
As she hushed, “This is it,” she said.
We had been saving money, making sacrifices, and working ourselves to exhaustion for a period of eight years. And now, we were standing inside the café that belonged to our parents.
It was obvious that it was not in pristine condition. It had been owned by a number of different people, each of whom had left it in a somewhat worse state of neglect. The floorboards made a creaking sound. The walls lacked any color. The kitchen was not up to date. However, we failed to care.
We fixed, painted, and washed the furniture. We put our whole self into everything, from the walls to the chairs to the serving dishes.
When we ran it, we did it with the same warmth that Mom and Dad had. All of the regulars’ names were learnt by us. We were able to recall their most preferred orders. Even when we were exhausted, we showed a grin.
People became aware of it.
Slowly, consumers started coming back. They brought their companions. A place where people stayed, where the aroma of coffee wrapped around you like a blanket, and where affection was served accompanying each meal, the café reverted back to what it had been in the past.
Then, many years later, when I was thirty-four years old, we did something that none of us had ever contemplated doing before.
It was our home that we repurchased.
The home where we were taught how to walk to walk. The home where we used to chase each other down the hallway, where once the air was filled with the sound of our mother’s laughter and our father’s loud voice. The home that had been taken away from us while we were too young to fight for rightfully claiming it.
While I was standing in front of the door, the keys in my hand began to shake.
“We should do it together,” Caleb said.
As a result, we did. The three of us each had a turn on the key when we had our hands on it.
The instant that we entered the building, it was as if we were being assaulted by a tsunami of memories. A hint of the aroma of freshly baked bread. The mental picture of Dad sitting in his chair and reading the newspaper. Marissa’s giggling noise could be heard coming from the stairs.
The tears began to well up in Marissa’s eyes. She hushed, “They ought to be here,” as she spoke.
Caleb answered, “They are,” with a weighty tone in his voice.
As of today, everyone of us has our very own houses and our very own families. In spite of this, we make it a point to get together for supper at that house—our house—every single Sunday.
Furthermore, prior to the dinner, Caleb raises his glass and recite the words that our parents used to say at the conclusion of each and every meal:
“The only way for a family to triumph over any challenges and difficulties is through unity.” Then, with a look of pride in his eyes, he stares at us. It was shown by us. The parents would be pleased with you.
I have faith in him.
mostly due to the fact that I’ve realized that love does not vanish when individuals pass away. There are times when it is concealed in pledges that are made in secret, in sacrifices that no one else sees, and in years of labor that are put in for something that is more important than everything else.
And there are times when love will bring you back home if you just hang on for a long enough period.